Defining Success

In a world with so many coulds, shoulds and wants, how do you know how to select what’s best for you? In this newsletter, I’ll tell you how in 3 steps, you can define the most important and lasting measures of success for you. After this exercise, you’ll never forget the phrase, “I know I am being successful by…”
First, a quick quiz. Read each statement and decide if it is:

Scoring: Go for a perfect 30.

What does Defining Success mean?
It means you have identified the 3 key relationships, things, or other elements of life that are most important to you. These 3 items can be things like “The love I experience from my spouse,” to “How creative I’m being.”

Until you take the time to define success for yourself, it is most likely being defined for you by others, your culture, the past, hope or advertising. As I say in my workshops, “If you don’t know what you want, then you are subject to the whims of your environment.” For example, if you are unsure of your priorities, when others come to you with things they would like you to do (chair a committee, go to dinner, etc.), it is more difficult to make a decision. Many times we just end up saying yes and regret the commitment we’ve made afterward.

Only you can truly define success for yourself. Your success definitions, which you will create in the 3 step exercise, will let you enjoy life more completely. They will help you to decide how to spend your time and release you from priorities that are not relevant or meaningful to you.

The 3 Steps

Step 1: Complete this question

Come up with 3 different phrases to complete the sentence. It’s very important that you use the exact sentence structure and words that you see above because this sets you up to articulate more clearly how you not only define success, but how you know you’re being successful at any given moment.

Step 2: Tweak your 3 responses
You’ll know that a success definition is phrased well when you feel a tingle in your body, or the light bulb goes on or you feel excitement. Not feeling that way yet? Don’t worry. If this exercise is new for you, it may take a couple of days of tinkering with your definitions before they zing. And they will. You will also find yourself thinking about success as you are redefining it and that is good. If you are truly stuck and just can’t find resonating definitions, then simply start over and pick totally different ones. Sometimes we confuse what we should or could want for success with what we really, really want.

Step 3: Notice what you feel
As you think about your success definitions over the next weeks, notice the way they may tug at you to make small, or perhaps, significant changes in your life. You’ll catch yourself fairly quickly when you feel pulled away from your definitions. You’ll find it easier to say no to people or situations that just don’t fit anymore with what is most important to you.

Examples
Here are some Strong (S) Weak(W) examples of definitions of success. What makes an example strong is that it resonates with you, instead of just describing something important to you. Give the phrasing a twist until it zings for you.

W: I know I am being successful by how creative I am.
S: I know I am being successful by how much I am enjoying my creativity.

W: I know I am being successful by how often I am nice.
S: I know I am being successful by how nice a person I am being no matter what.

If you’d like a list of 50 Sample Success Definitions, send me an e-mail and I’ll get them out to you.

Action Steps
The Action Steps for this month are the 3 steps talked about in the newsletter.
If you‘d like to have me help you make your definitions zing, please contact me. I’d be happy to use this topic as a complimentary session. You’ll be surprised how much clearer you’ll be after our call. No need to struggle. I’m here to help!

Have a successful 2003!